my heart is beating from me
by Double-A-B
Summary: Love is just a four letter word. You know what else is a four letter word? Pain.


**Disclaimer: I don't own _Victorious_ or Homecoming by Green Day (the title is one of the song's lines).**

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><p>He likes her. Ever since he met her he has. And, occasionaly, she gets these thoughts of him as more than a friend.<p>

things could never be simple for once, could they?

(

Beck and Jade break up. To everyone's shock, she's the one who did it. People say the words 'You don't deserve me' and 'Why do you love me?' were spoken. She gave him no response when he asked why. She just walked off.

The awkwardness seddles in at the table as they all sit there (even when broken up, they couldn't be seperated). Cat tries to break it with a description of her brother's latest death stunt, but it doesn't help. Rather, it just made it more awkward when she said, "It was after a big break-up." That's when they both leave in opposite directions. Cat goes after Jade, Robbie after Beck. The two want to help as well, but they know they can't.

So, he sits there, trying to ignore the pain that just came and focus on her (he would anyway, why not now?). However, it's still there, so they both just sit quietly.

He stilll glanced at her after every bite he took.

()

Three months later it's Valentine's Day. Beck and Jade are still no longer Beck&Jade. However, time went on, they talked, and now they were friends (yet you clearly see that both beg for more). Occasionally, Cat and Robbie hold hands under desks, and they wonder if they should go to the next level (which is the longer-than-usual hug). So, where does that leave these two?

He decides to get her a purple rose. On the tag, he fills in the 'To:' space with her name. 'After school,' he repeats to himself, 'After school, you just . . . you know, walk up and say . . .'

He never thought of what the "proper words" would be.

()

(

He walks back inside with the rose in hand (he almost forgot due to a song he wanted to write) and his heart breaks when he sees the picture painted at the staircase.

Beck puts his lips on her. His hopes of her pushing him are dashed when she kisses back. He looks down, then up, then walks out, throwing the rose in the trash bin on his way out.

She finds it there, his handwriting clearly saying 'The Wonderful VicToria Vega' on the 'To:' space of the tag. The lump in her throat is saying 'What did I just do?'

()

()

Beck and her are holding hands the next day. She did have a thing for Beck, and he'll find other, more deserving girls . . . right? When they go up to the lockers to see them, the shocked face on Jade shows her anger and sence of betrayal. When she runs off, the new couple run after her.

He doesn't follow them. His face, unlike Jade's, doesn't show anything. He just walks to his class like nothing happened.

As he walks, he just keeps thinking, 'How am I not going wonky right now?'

/

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At the table, she and Beck are too busy making out to pay attention to what the group is saying. They're so 'in-love', they don't notice that Jade is getting ready to pour her coffee on Tori like the first day (she could never hurt Beck, except for that one time. Regret still nips at her). Cat takes it away from Jade, and the two run off to talk. Robbie, who can't stay away from Cat and doesn't want Rex to ruin the couple's moment, follows them. This leaves only the three there.

Their tongues are battling so loudly, they don't even notice his loud stomps as he leaves.

/(

\(

They break up one month later, exactly. Reasons like 'It was only physical' and 'I knew he still loved her' leave her mouth as she hiccups to him through tears.

All he can think of is how he wants to kill him for breaking her heart, yet he knows he can't because that's his best friend he's talking about and it would make him a bad person. At the same time, he listens to every word (he always was the listener of the group). Well, not every word.

He was so stuck on these thoughts when she said, "Beck and I broke up," that he didn't hear her say, "It was me who did it," before the tears came down.

/()\

\()/

It's the day of graduation. Jade has her head on Beck's shoulder (everone saw it coming), Robbie's hugging Cat as she bawls (they finally went public), and the two have their hands held together (it's just out of best friendship, though. Nothing more, nothing less).

Everyone cheers when the final tick of the high school clock goes. During the commotion, she hugs him and cuddles her head in his chest as the (happy) tears come down.

For the five seconds it lasted, they pretended they were the only ones there.

/(l)\

\(l)/

They all get accepted to the college they wanted (the same one, of course) and that summer actually feels longer. It's strange, since the phrase is 'Time flies when you're having fun,' but they are all strange and want the moment to last long anyway.

When the year (and the classes that they have together) comes, Beck&Jade are showing _too much_ public affection, Robbie&Cat occasionally lock lips, but those two just give quick glances of 'What if?'

'I don't deserve him,' she thinks.

'She'll find him, he's just not me,' he thinks.

\()/

-()-

/()\

happy endings were for the cliché anyway


End file.
